It all started with a Nintendo commercial where the kids are putting on a Christmas play and suddenly everything changes and they set up a scene from Super Mario Brothers, one of the lines is "we deserve..." Are you kidding me?!? What makes anyone think they deserve anything?
This ever present sense of entitlement is not only frustrating but depressing. My kids are not immune either, as much as I try to make it different, they still believe they are entitled to whatever they want. They think nothing of assuming that I will take care of everything, all the time. Hadley loses her new pack of ink pens and assumes I will replace them. Lydia trashes her bed room and assumes I'll clean it up. Hadley brought home a scholastic book catalog and circled several things she wanted (8-10, seriously) and just assumed I'd get them ALL for her.
I added up the cost and said "you asked for 9 books that cost $48!" (estimating by memory)
She looks at me with all sincerity and says "WOW! That's not much, you can get me ALL of those!"
I nearly lost it, and then I said "fine, if it's not much-go get your money bank and YOU can pay for it!" I was SO mad and really just wanted to scream, but I held my cool.
Hadley brought her money bank down, emptied all of her money out and began counting. A few minutes later she realized she didn't have enough money for it, so smugly I waited for her to tell me, and she did...
"Mommy, I only have $36 so you'll have to chip in the rest and then I can get all the books I want"
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! THE WHOLE POINT WAS FOR YOU TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU WERE ASKING FOR, NOT DEMAND MORE!" I may have replied a little louder than necessary.
Cue tears and pitiful, victimized, look. No, I shouldn't have yelled at her, but for crying out loud, it's not like I slapped her or even said anything unreasonable. And, I was SO mad!
Jennifer Lancaster is one of my favorite authors. She's not a deep thought, provoking author but she's extremely entertaining and I LOVE her! I'm convinced that she and I would be best friends if we were ever to meet! Erika has always said how much Jen L. and I are alike (with the exception of her abundant use of the "F" word!) and her husband is SO similar to Keith. She's a bit obstinate, a conservative, NRA supporter, and she's even from Indy! Can you tell why I think she's awesome!?! Ha! Anyway, she did an interview not long ago where she really describes herself well.
On her blog, in October, she said everything I've been feeling this holiday season.
She says:
I'm frustrated by the lack of respect/sense of entitlement I'm seeing more and more often. There's a whole generation of Special Snowflakes out there who've been raised on soccer and social media and cellular communication. If you want to talk about narcissism, I refer you to the kids who've yet to accomplish anything, but have been acting as their own ad hoc publicists for years, broadcasting messages about themselves since the minute they got their first internet connection.
Isn't that the truth! And, things are changing around here from my special snowflakes! None of us "deserve" anything, not as Americans, Christians, or Humans, and it's time we realize it! We can work towards happiness and make our happiness but we don't just deserve it. Christ died for our sins and we certainly didn't deserve that grace.
I PRAY that we can all FIND happiness and that we can have everything we need, but it's time to learn need versus want and earn versus deserve.
I hate that I love that commercial..."we've been good, well mostly good". It's so funny...but you hit home a point Paul and I speak about often. We don't just find it in our kiddos...we as adults, after going through what we call a rought time will say things like, "I deserve to be happy". I'm not sure what any of US think we have done to deserve 'happiness', but also happiness is a choice...and when our kids see adults (sometimes us) living this same entitlement mentality, they are going to emulate it...just as we have done. However, it's never too late to try to retrain our brains (I'm living proof as a former deserver...LOL!) with a heaping dose of the Holy Spirit and add some bible (scripture) study for good measure. ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!!! Great point to to impress with Hadley...now come here and talk to Brynn, she's been singing that commercial up a storm...I am failing SOMEWHERE still. ;)