Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Should I Get Out Of Here?

I haven't blogged in awhile, I haven't been inspired, I've been a little depressed, and honestly...just too lazy!  However, last nights events were just too good not to talk about!

Shawn and I were watching the Bachelor finale and we were both a little slap happy after three hours of mindless, reality TV.

I started out by telling an awesome story about one of my very best friends sending me a card.  Nicole occasionally sends me cute and funny cards just because she's an awesome friend!  (That may stop when she reads this! ha!)  A while back she sent me a picture of an envelope that had a perfect return address, a stamp, and my name, LISA RICHARDSON, written across the front.  That's ALL!  No street, no city, not even a zip code!  Then there was a stamp that said "Insufficient Address"  I laughed till I snorted and told her, "its because they didn't have a stamp that said stupid!"  No matter how much of a legend I may be in my own mind, the US postal service refuses to acknowledge it!  (Sorry Nicole!  I STILL LOVE YOU!!!)  Shawn and I only laughed a little at you Nicole! 

So as we continued talking, I was reading Perez Hilton and he had an article about Anderson Cooper being in Japan and at one point, Anderson Cooper says "should we get out of here?"  The media irritates the humor out of me by placing themselves in dangerous positions, then needing assistance or wanting sympathy when it gets too sticky! 

Then Shawn tells me that her husband, being the good republican he is, says "these damn liberals, they'll take any situation to turn our power sources into the devil."  He hadn't been watching the "whole" news, he just caught the part where they were saying what a danger nuclear (nu-cu-lar, right?  ha!) power plants are.  I made the comment that we republicans should just back away slowly and keep our mouths shut right now and hope no one notices!

One thing leads to another and Shawn says,
"I'm wondering if this power plant blows, if we're safe over here, I'm like Anderson Cooper-'should we get outta here?'" 

Okay, I'm torn between admitting what I said next or using a little bit of creativity here and making myself sound intelligent...I'm going to sacrifice my pride for humor's sake!

"I said, well I'm probably okay because I'm farther north but you may be screwed." 

Shawn then replies, with a certain tone in her voice, "I don't think it makes me closer to Japan, dumbass."

hysterical laughter til I snort!

Bad went to worse, "Yeah, I think Japan is south."

Okay, sidebar...it was LATE at night!  I've never said that geography was my strength, and my brain was mush from three hours of reality TV!  I'm really NOT stupid!

"I'm getting my laptop out, I don't know why we're arguing over Japan when neither of us has any idea where it's at."  Finally!  A voice of reason!

So, I google map driving directions to Japan.  And, yes, I KNEW I COULDN'T ACTUALLY DRIVE TO JAPAN!  But, I wanted to see what it'd say, and thank goodness I did!

It was all normal, run of the mill directions starting out.  I did find it funny that google maps thought they should mention that this route had tolls.  (Tolls, NOT TROLLS, as I thought when first saw it!)  Turn left, turn right, drive...etc. nothing spectacular.  Then, I see it...


Seriously?  Kayak?  It's google and the best they could come up with was KAYAK? 

I googled "ways to cross pacific ocean" and immediately; planes, trains, and automobiles pop up.  Not one word about a kayak!

So once I Kayak 2756 miles to Hawaii, I guess I rest up and then finish out the 3879 more miles-in my kayak!  It's a 35 day trip, after all!

Shortly after this we decided to admit defeat and go to bed, around 12:15 am.

Then, around 2:00 am, Lydia woke me up wanting to sleep with me.  No will power at 2am, sure, climb in! 

Then around 3am, the security system alarm goes off, LOUD!  Of course it wakes Lydia and me up, but Keith and Hadley sleep through it all!  I get up and call the security company and it was a glitch in our phones-thank you AT&T for that 3am wake up call.  We got all of that sorted out and back to bed around 3:30.

The alarm goes off at 7am!  Good Morning Life!  And, I'm loving daylight savings time...nothing better than waking up in the DARK after nearly no sleep!  Thank you federal government for, yet another, awesome idea!  (see, I caught stupid from the government!)

Now we're getting ready to head out to preschool and today is going to be awesome!  I can feel it in my bones!


  1. Bwahahahaha!!!! I love it! :) Thank you for helping me start my morning off with a smile. It's been rough going these last two DREARY mornings...but it's hard to complain when you're not worried about a tsunami...you know what I'm saying?!

    Love you girl and hope you will be inspired more soon. This was HYSTERICAL!! :)

  2. I bought a Kayak today. You want to race?