Looks Can Be Deceiving!

In a recent blog post, Frenemy to Friends, I made the comment that Danielle seemed to have it all together.  She really looked perfect on the outside so of course I believed that must be the case.  It wasn't until she replied to the blog that I realized looks were deceiving.  Her reply stopped me in my tracks, it was so humbling and profound and I realized that maybe her life wasn't as perfect as I'd thought.

With that in mind, I was walking through my messy house today thinking, wow I bet (enter friend's name here) never lets her house get like this!  Because this friend appears to have it all together, so it must be true, right?  That's when the reminder hit me that looks can be deceiving. 

I had a friend tell me, once, that I seem to have it all together.  She actually told me that I look like I have it all figured out.  HA!  If that's not proof that looks can be deceiving, then nothing is!  I may look like I've got it figured out, but most days I'm a jumbled mess on the inside! I'm like a duck, all calm and cool on top but paddling as fast as my legs will move underneath!

I think we're all like that (maybe some of us more than others) but we are all struggling to hold it together and we're doing the best we can.  But, I also think others aren't judging nearly as harshly as we think they are.  My neighbor and I had this conversation awhile back where I admitted I struggle between being a good mom, wife, housekeeper, etc and I asked her "do you have those struggles too?"  she said "Lisa I think every mom and possibly every woman struggles with those feelings." 

If I spend too much time getting the house clean and orderly I feel like my kids don't get the proper attention, and if I spend all my time with the kids, the house falls apart and there's no dinner then I feel like Keith isn't being treated fairly.  Basically, I'm doing the best I can and although I'd like to have a model home, I just don't see that ever happening.

I manage to keep things livable and cook a good meal, most nights.  I devote as much time as humanly possible to my lovely daughters so all in all I think I'm getting it together most days.  There are things that completely throw me off kilter, like this week I have a sick kiddo who is attached to me.  I love how snuggly she is so I drop everything to baby her and my whole house seems to have fallen apart!  It's okay though, I'll get it back together sooner or later! 

The moral of the story is, I think we all spend more time like this---------->

Then we do like this--------->

But I'll end with one final thought/question...

Why does it take so long to put the house together and about half that time to tear it apart?

I am SO Glad I Have Girls!

I'm so glad I have (insert gender here)!

How many times have you heard that or even said it?  Each mom wants to validate how amazing it is to be the parents of boys or girls (depending on which gender they have).  I really am SO glad to have girls, but because it's God's perfect plan, not because it's self fulfilling.  I don't think having boys is some type of affliction, they are an equal blessing.  I definitely see perks of being a mom to girls, I won't lie.  I thank God for my daughters, I can't imagine it any other way.  However, I can definitely see some problems that I'll have that moms of boys won't have to deal with and vice versa! 

I don't know why we think it's okay to say that to each other, it's really not nice! 

I had a mom tell me, that when you have boys you only have to worry about one penis, but when you have girls you have to worry about every penis out there!  Grrr!  I don't even want to THINK about that!

Another mom said in reference to boys versus girls, "you either pay now or pay later!" 

So true!  Parenting is hard, it's rewarding, but it's hard!  One cliche about boys are they break everything, one cliche about girls is they are super needy!  I'd say both are true, for both genders!  Of course, I'm speaking as a mom of girls only.  Cliches exist for a reason, they aren't 100% but more often than not there's a reason for them!

All I know is that I wouldn't have it any other way, but there is no easy way out of parenting, so it doesn't matter if you have boys or girls-"you either pay now or pay later!"