I kind of bounce all over the place on what to blog about. I take pride in writing funny blogs and I love when people tell me they laugh at something I've written or when someone sends a link to one of their friends because they thought it was worth sharing.
Tonight though, I've got a lot on my heart and this is a cathartic post, so if you're here for humor you'll need to check out some of the other posts!
Wednesday morning I woke up a little groggy and had no idea why. Keith had left at 5am for Ft. Wayne so it was just me and the girls. I had hoped to get Hadley on the bus and then go back to bed for a little nap before Lydia woke up....then Lydia bounced down the stairs wide awake!
I was standing at the sink, brushing Hadley's hair and we were talking about how she was going to wear it. She decided on a pony tail so I was pulling it back and she said "mommy, I'm so thirsty" and I replied "Let me finish this pony tail and then we'll get you something to drink."
It was almost instantly that she slowly lowered her head down and laid it face down on the sink. I turned her head over and she was limp. I realized that she was unconscious and I began laying her down on the floor as gently as I could. I was trying not to freak out and she starts rolling her head from side to side groaning and breathing super fast and deep. It was like she was panting with super deep breaths and groaning while flopping her body around. It was a very scary time but not as scary as what happened next.
I was trying to hold her and keep her from hitting her head and I was trying to stay calm so I wouldn't scare her. I wasn't freaking out for some reason because the breathing and moaning was some what comforting to me. Then she stopped. Her body went limp, she quit breathing, and my mind went to a very dark place. I desperately prayed "please God, don't take my baby, please don't take her." My heart was breaking and I was terrified. I have never been that afraid of anything in my life. It only lasted for a couple of minutes (that felt like hours) and she opens her eyes and says "mommy, what just happened?"
She was very hot when she woke up so we got a wash cloth wet with cold water and Lydia went to get her a drink. I was freaking out and said "girls, mommy got a little scared when Hadley passed out so let's take a minute and pray over her." Ever word I prayed, Lydia repeated and wouldn't let go of her sister's hand. It was a terrifying morning with a beautiful moment.
Side Note: Lydia isn't usually my compassionate child but when her sister needed her she was right there to do anything we asked! I have never seen such compassion from her in my life. Later in the morning, I asked Lydia to watch Hadley while I called the doctor and when I came back, she was sitting right beside her staring. She later told me that it scared her and made her sad when Hadley passed out "because she's the best sister ever." and it brought tears to my eyes!
I had a bear of a time finding a telephone and finally got a call into my doctor because Hadley was begging NOT to go to the hospital. I got a call back saying to take her to the hospital. I called my friend Lisa and she was taking her boys to school, I said "okay, well call me back, it's important" and then hung up and sent a text that Hadley had passed out and I needed to take her to the hospital. (I was a little irrational and discombobulated)
Lisa's dad came and stayed with Lydia and I took Hadley to the hospital. Thank God for Ms. Dawn, who was waiting for me when we walked into the ER. Hadley seemed to be by this time (I wasn't!) The ER got her in pretty quick and they ran a barrage of tests and really didn't find anything. We spent the morning there and I was starting to wear down when Miche showed up.
Miche is Hadley's best friend's dad, and one of our neighbors. His timing was impeccable because he came just as I was starting to fall apart and Hadley was going to get her IV. He kept her distracted and kept me calm, he was truly a blessing! He is also the one who delivered the news that the CT scan was normal. I truly believe it was God's timing that brought him at that moment because I was just about to lose it!
Hadley's best friend's mom also came to check on Hadley and spent the rest of the afternoon with us. The family is a blessing. I've appreciated their friendship since we met, but never like I did that day. At one point one of the nurses asked about my other daughter and I honestly said, I have no idea....I assume she's with Lisa. (She was!) Another beautiful blessing, to know my youngest was safe and having fun, and not to have to worry about her. Thank God for good people to help when you need them!
We left the hospital with no real diagnosis, they said it was "vasel vega syncope" you can google it but it seems to me they don't know what it was, but they put a name on it to give crazy people some peace!
We followed up with our pediatrician and Hadley was almost instantly diagnosed with pneumonia. I felt good, we had a name and a reason along with a treatment! We came home and her fever began getting higher and higher. By 8 o clock it was 104.5 and I was keeping her on Tylenol and Advil. I started to freak out and called Danielle (a nurse, neighbor, & friend) and she said "take her to Riley to the ER" so I loaded up the car and we headed south, downtown Indy to Riley children's hospital.
They confirmed the diagnosis of bacterial pneumonia and they watched her for a while, her fever stayed high and she was delirious and completely out of it. They gave her meds to get the fever down and kept watching her throughout the next few hours. We finally left around 2 or 3am and Hadley fell asleep in the car, almost instantly. I got her home and upstairs to bed and we are just working through the pneumonia now.
I can't get the image of her laying lifeless on the floor out of my head, I'm having nightmares about it and I'm scared to let her out of my sight. She's staying home from school again tomorrow because she's still coughing and breathing rough, but I'm relieved because I'm scared to send her to school.
Today I went to the doctor because I was having debilitating back pain and was diagnosed with stress! Ha! I'm having back spasms because of stress...no kidding!