School is Now in Session!

Ugh!  I am not a fan of school!

I'll start by saying we live in a great school district; it's safe, fun, and high ranking statistically.  We've lived in places where the private schools couldn't hold a candle to what our public schools do.  They put a lot of emphasis on morals, integrity, and honesty, along with academics.  It's not a complete love fest though because this insatiable desire to be the best, at everything, sometimes transforms students from kids to statistics (but I think all schools do that now).  All in all, this is one of the better schools.

Just because it's a good school doesn't mean I LOVE having my baby gone away from me for 7 hours a day.  It's nice that I don't obsessively worry about her safety, and it's great to know that she's going to be well educated, but it's excruciating seeing her leave in the morning and knowing she won't be back for hours! 

I heard someone say today that their child "never flinched at the newness school brings" and what a blessing it is that children are so adaptive, I wish I felt the same way.  I go kicking and screaming into every new experience!

This year is a little scary because there has been a lot of redistricing so Hadley is in a class full of strangers!  Seriously, we went through the list and there were only 3-4 kids we knew!  On top of that, last year was our first experience with full time school so we didn't really know what to expect, this year I know how bad it sucks to have my baby gone.  Last but certainly not least, I heard some less than flattering rumors about Hadley's new teacher.

Side note, I typically choose not to put too much stock into negative opinions because there can be a myriad of different reasons for someone to have a bad year.  I can think of a few of my teachers that there were negative opinions about, but I loved them!  Also, sometimes people just have crappy experiences, maybe it was the teachers fault, maybe it was the students fault, or maybe no one or even everyone is to blame.  I am a firm believer on clean slates!

Clean slates or not, my anxiety has little or nothing to do with the teacher!  God can handle the teacher!  My heart just hurts because I miss my baby so much.  God and I are working through that!

My prayer is that Hadley has a great year!  I pray that this is the year she makes the best friend that she craves so much.  I pray that she gains her footing this year and comes into her own, I pray that she does this before the "mean girl" grade comes about.  I pray that she settles in and realizes what a gift from God she truly is!  I also pray for her teacher to let this be the year she proves the naysayers wrong!  I pray that God makes magic happen in the second grade! 

Y'all pray too! 

To quote the Veggie Tales "God is bigger than the boogie man" so I know he's bigger than anything 2nd grade can throw at us!

Please Excuse Her, She Didn't Realize We Are Republicans!

Tonight Keith was looking through Hadley's homework and he came into the other room, where I was, and said "I think we're doing something wrong."

I skimmed it and said "oh yea, I saw this at school on Monday."

Keith replies "you DID?" which prompted me to look a little closer and realized it was another kid's paper I had read.  I volunteer on Monday's and not being a "kid person" at the end of the day, they all look alike to me.  (apparently even mine!)

On closer inspection, I said "I feel like I need to write the teacher a note and explain that she Hadley clearly didn't realize we are republicans!

The part you cant see, on the side, teacher's comment "WOW!" 

I couldn't have said it better myself-wow!

In case you have trouble reading it, I'll clear it up for you;

If I were president I would get money and give it to the poor people.
I would increase taxes to $.15

Of course I'm proud of anything my daughter does and like many liberals, her heart is in the right place, she just has absolutely no idea what she's talking about!  I love the charitable heart and I'm proud that she wants to help mankind. 

However, shortly after reading that I called her to the living room and explained charity and government to her. 

I said "honey, we don't need the president to tell us to give money.  Do you realize that we can help poor people without him?"

She said "we can?"

Grrr!  "Yes honey, when we give money at church, that's helping others.  When we donate to the salvation army and goodwill, that's helping poor people."  Then I said "Do you remember when we bought all those groceries and gave them to the homeless man?"

"Yes, mommy.  Why did you buy him juice boxes?"  was her reply.

"I bought him Gatorade because it has things your body needs..." I told her.

She interrupted "since he was homeless he didn't have cups so the little bottles were easier?"

Okay, so clearly she remembers this act of charity!  "yes honey, but that was helping a poor person WITHOUT government interference!  We can use our money more judiciously than the government or the president."

deep breaths momma!

"We don't NEED the government to tell us that we should help the less fortunate, as good Christians and good people we know this and live it."

I can't believe I had to explain this to her!  I really thought she would learn by our actions but apparently you can't assume anything!  We are a pretty charitable family, and we give to several different charities.  We've made food for food banks, obviously we've bought groceries and hand delivered them to homeless, we've rang the bell for the salvation army, and we talk about charity in church a lot too.  I know she's seeing charity, those are all things we've done WITH her!  I'm sure we could do more, but that isn't too shabby.

Why in the world does she believe the government and taxes are the only way to help poor people.  As far as I'm concerned, the government and taxes have more to do with creating poor people than helping them!  How do we right this wrong and quickly, before she writes something they post in the hall ways?!?

In the meantime,
Dear Mrs. M#$%*&l
Please excuse Hadley, she didn't realize we are republicans! 
Respectfully!
Hadley's Mom & Dad
(aka conservative, christian, republicans)

In all seriousness though, Hadley is a great little girl with a generous heart and this shows that beautifully.  She's blessed with an amazing first grade teacher and we have repeatedly prayed that next year be this awesome!  I don't think the schools are trying to indoctrinate my child with liberal agenda and I think that if we can continue down this path with her we will be very lucky!

Who Do They Think They Are?

For the past two years I've toyed with the idea of homeschooling.  I'm very anti government and I miss my babies when they are gone.  I've talked to people who've home schooled, I've talked to teachers who've taught in the public school system, and I've talked to teachers who quit teaching to home school their kids.  I've talked til I'm blue in the face!  I've prayed, I've thought, I've written lists, and I've asked God to smack me upside the head with a sign because I just don't know what to do.  Every time something goes wrong (or not my version of right) at school I think it might be my sign then, inevitably, I talk myself out of it.

Last week Hadley brought home a letter from her principal that informed me Hadley has been late to school five days totaling 4.14 hours of lost instruction time and they will "consider proceeding with referral to the Aces Program."  So, I looked up the Aces Program. 

Below are the 23 questions that someone is supposed to judge me on and answer.  Keep in mind,  when reading, that this is because she was tardy 5 days THIS YEAR.  Her reading is above grade level and her math skills are also above grade level, she has been rewarded multiple times for showing "falcon pride" which is basically a good citizenship award.  This program referral was bases solely on tardiness!

Pre-Assessment Questionnaire

Please give an explanation for any “yes” answer.  Thank you for your time!

1.  Is the child doing well in relationships with family?             No             Yes

                 

2.  Is there evidence of problems with functioning in the current living situation?     No    Yes

                 

3.  Is the child performing well in school?             No             Yes

                 

4.  Does the child have positive social relationships?      No              Yes

                 

5.  Does the family have strong relationships and excellent communication?       No      Yes

                 

6.  Does the school work closely with the child and family to identify and successfully address

 the child's educational needs OR does the child excel in school?           No         Yes

                 

7.  Does the child have very stable relationships with family members, friends and community? 

Have those relationships been stable for most of his/her life and are likely to remain so in the foreseeable future?   Is the child involved with both parents?                No           Yes

                 

8.  Does the child have natural supports who contribute to helping support the child's healthy

development?             No             Yes

                 

9.  Do the child and the family speak English very well?                No        Yes

                 

10.  Does the care giver have good monitoring and discipline skills?                            No           Yes

                 

11.  Does the care giver have significant family and friends in their social network that actively

help with raising the child?         No           Yes

                 

12.  Does the care giver have stable housing for the foreseeable future?         No             Yes

                 

13.  Does the care giver have mental health needs?         No             Yes

                 

14.  Does the care giver have substance abuse needs?    No             Yes

                 

15.  Does the care giver have problems with impulse, distractible or hyperactive behavior that

places the child at risk of future functioning difficulties?          No             Yes

                 

16.  Does the care giver have a history or suspicion of depression or mild to moderate depression

associated with a recent negative life event with impact on life domain or functioning?                                                                                                                                                      No            Yes

                 

17.  Is there a history or recent onset of defiance towards authority figures?     No         Yes

                 

18.  Is there a history or suspicion of problems associated with antisocial behaviors including

but not limited to lying, stealing, manipulating others, sexual aggression, violence toward people, property, or animals?     No         Yes

                 

19.  Is there a history or suspicion of problems associated with traumatic life events?     No   Yes

                 

20.  Is there evidence of anger control problems?      No         Yes

                 

21.  Is there evidence of delinquency?       No               Yes

                 

22.  Is there evidence of problematic social behaviors?      No            Yes         

                 

23.  Has the child engaged in bullying at school or in the community?         No    Yes

                 

Of course the letter was only vaguely threatening and they didn't actually commit to referring her to this program, which screams to me that they are trying to bully me into submission.  They just want me to know they have the power to do this, not that they are actually acting on it.  The bullying won't work with me because, honestly, I'm just too stubborn, but it has made me think.

WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE to judge my parenting based on 5 tardies?  Since when does the government think they are the high court of my personal life?  They screw up everything they touch and they expect me to conform to their ideas?  I will admit, those conformist exist but they are not the successful ones, the are the ones on welfare!  (okay, that was a low blow but I am mad over this!) 

I made it five years without any help from the public schools, what so ever!  I taught her to walk, to talk, I potty trained her, I taught her to say please and thank you, I taught her to be respectful, I taught her to tie her shoes, I taught her to count, I taught her what her colors were, I LAID THE FOUNDATION!  Now that I've done the hard stuff, the school system wants to swoop in, take credit and "tweak" my work.  I DON'T WANT IT TWEAKED!  I like what I've done so far!  Apparently they do too since they can't get enough of her!  ha!

I can think of kids who have perfect attendance and who are never late who could benefit from this program.  Not that this is the case for all kids with perfect attendance but the parents who don't want to be bothered find it easier to send their kids to school than deal with them.  They don't keep their kids home because it's too cold or unsafe to stand at the bus stop-they don't care enough to deal with it!  I'm not saying that every child with perfect attendance lives in that situation but it certainly happens! 

When I worked at a preschool, we had a little boy who never missed a day.  He was always early, he stayed late, he showed up no matter what the road or weather conditions were.  Not because his mother was so responsible but because she couldn't be bothered to raise him herself, but not to worry!  The school system won't bother her either since she manages to get him there so they can make their buck off of him!

When did it become the government's job to raise our children?  I have heard more than one parent complain when school is called off because they don't want to be bothered.  I'm sure it's an inconvenience for working parents, but that doesn't change the fact that it's not the school's responsibility to raise our kids.  If you don't want kids-don't have them!  Kids are HARD work, they are time consuming, they are all encompassing and they are worth it!

These after school programs and summer "enrichment" programs and all the various names the government has created in order to control more of our children's lives are a bunch of hooey!  I want to know how much of our tax dollars go towards these programs?  I don't mind my tax money going towards education, in fact, Carmel recently voted in favor of a referendum to raise taxes for the schools.  That's fine, but how much of my money is going towards child care?  I don't pay taxes so mom's don't have to be responsible for their children! 

I am blessed to be a stay at home mom, and I know all parents aren't.  My mom was a working mom and my dad travelled for work a lot, but mom figured it out without the school raising me.  She found sitters and family and friends to help out, and that's what parents need to do now.  QUIT RELYING ON THE GOVERNMENT!  That's how we got so messed up in the first place!

So, I find myself in a familiar position of considering home schooling again.  I had an epiphany last night when considering it though...one of my fears is always "I might screw my kids up"  every time I think of homeschooling that crosses my mind but last night it hit me..."yep, I might screw them up but why would I let the government screw them up for me?"  Like I said, everything the government touches they mess up so why give them my children? 

As for me, I'm still praying and considering and who knows what will end up happening but last week was a reality check for me, for sure!  My children will not become a just dollar sign, I am their biggest advocate and that will continue whether I homeschool or they remain in public schools.

Tormented, Alone.

I don't know why God has put this on my heart but lately I can't get a girl from elementary school out of my head.  Her name was Melissa Endel and she had a younger brother named Jason.  Kids at school tormented both of them relentlessly!  I don't know why, I don't remember any specific defining moment, I don't remember who started it, where, or why.  I do remember, so clearly, Melissa's face all red and puffy from crying after kids made fun of her for being different.

About five or six years ago, my grandaddy was in the hospital and I went to see him.  As I was walking down the hall I caught a glimpse of Melissa, out of the corner of my eye, laying in a hospital bed.  I stopped right there and said a prayer for her, then dismissed it.  It's plagued me for a long time.

I don't know anything about Melissa, from back then or from now, but she has been on my heart for some reason and I can't dismiss it.  I can't help but think that, all those years ago, when the kids were tormenting Melissa I should have stood up for her.  I clearly remember that I NEVER participated, and I remember my heart hurting for her when I would see the kids make fun of her but I didn't want to get involved.  I was too scared that they'd turn on me too.

I don't know what the proper answer was for back then, but I can't help but think that my second grade teacher should be ashamed of herself for not stopping it.  She was the adult, and she dismissed it too. 

A few years ago I saw a group of girlfriends turn on another friend because she was "different" and, she is!  This woman marches to her own beat, but she's got a great heart.  She may not be what you hope your daughters grow up to be like, but you always hope they love as freely as she does.  A woman who had been a close friend of hers called me and said that she'd just "stayed out of it" and I told her that by staying out of it, you silently submit to it, and that's what I did with Melissa.  This woman took that to heart and stood by her friend!  She did everything I wish I'd done-back then!

I never made fun of Melissa, I just stayed out of it.  I saw her hurt and I never did anything to stop it.  By staying out of it, I allowed it to happen.  I don't know if I could have stopped it, at seven years old, but Melissa wouldn't have had to be so alone and that can make a huge difference.

As I raise my daughters, I don't know how I would handle that situation if it arises in their lives.  I want to think I'll tell them to stand up for the victim!  Be the voice!  I PRAY that I tell them that, but in all honesty I know I will be afraid that the tormentors will turn on my baby!  I don't want to see any child hurt, but I REALLY don't want to see my child hurt.  I'm sure that reveals far more inner selfishness than I'd like, but it's true. 

I don't know why God has put this on my heart but maybe I'll remember to stand up for what's right, in the future, whether it's popular opinion or not.  You can't always stop someone from being hurt but you can make it hurt less by being a friend.