I have been irritated all day over our black friday experience at Toys R Us, it really jaded my whole evening so I'm doing more cathartic blogging! Also, I've said before that I don't pepper my blogs with cursing, but this one comes with a warning, I'm quoting some extremely foul language. If you'll be offended, I apologize, but don't read on.
Last night, while black friday shopping this woman her mother, and husband pushed themselves in line in front of the lady in front of us. It wasn't enough to just be rude, but when the women on either end of the line around these people questioned them they made a big spectacle. Finally, Keith (the calm, cool one in our relationship) calmly says "umm, you know, ya'll cut the line? we've all been in this line together for several minutes" at which point every curse word you've ever heard starts flying from these people's mouths. Ridiculousness! They finally agree to get in line behind us, so they can further harass us and while trying to ignore them they are getting louder and more threatening. At that point Keith says he's going to get security. He steps away and things really heat up, all while (I PROMISE!) I don't say a word! I could see there was no point engaging.
"you white bitch, where's your man goin?" NOTHING on my end because there is clearly no point. "you happy now that we're behind you, bitch?" "who the hell do you f-ing white bitches think you are?" At which point the woman in front of me turns around and yells "I'm not even white you asshole! I'M NOT WHITE!" That's when the guy behind me yells at me "where's your car bitch? where's your f'ing car? I'll see your ass in the parking lot." I still say NOTHING because I know, you can't fight with stupid, they'll bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. (well, and the guy was a lot bigger than me! ha!)
Right around then Keith and a store employee show up and he's telling the guy what happened and the group of people behind me start yelling at Keith "you a f'ing rat? what? you had to go get help?" The store employee was completely useless and I may NEVER go to Toys R Us again because of that. This man stood there and heard these people yelling and threatening and did NOTHING other than laugh. On one hand, I get it, it was complete nonsense for adults to act like this. On th other hand, these people threatened to be waiting for me in the parking lot...less funny.
The kicker is, right behind us they actually did have a fight and I'm betting he didn't laugh so much then!
That's when the bomb dropped..."you're racist! those white bitches are racist!" Keith turns around at this point because, seriously, I have a lot of character flaws but rasicm just isn't one of them. Keith geniuinely asks "who's racist?" The woman says "one of them.." and Keith says "why? what did they say or do?" Keith is a stand up guy and he won't tolerate people cutting line or lying about it so he sure as heck isn't going to tolerate racist behavior! The woman then points vaguely and says "they called me black." We let it lay there because she just spent 15 minutes calling me a white bitch and no one said anything to or about her but she has the audacity to claim racism because someone called her black? Can't argue with stupid...
This is where the part that may be considered racist comes in, but I am genuinely asking, when did it become racist to call a black person black? I don't consider being called white a racial slur and I don't consider saying someone is black is a slur either. I just don't get it...
I never even knew that racism existed until I was a teenager. Two of the dearest people in my childhood were black and I never was taught that their skin color had anything to do with who any of us were. I was taught to treat people with respect and love but no one ever mentioned anything about race.
James was a paralyzed vetran of the Vietnam war and he lived in the nursing home my mom worked at. I spent hours and hours with James, watching TV (WWE!), reading the paper, talking about school and boys, and being friends. James died in 2003 but I remember how amazing he was and I love the memories I have of time we spent together. When Keith and I got serious James insisted I bring Keith in to meet him, when I did Keith was struck with James' exuberance!
Wanda was also very close with James and I think that's what originally bonded us together. After getting to know Wanda, I fell in love with her too! Wanda was a woman I could talk to and joke with and be straight with and Wanda was always straight with me. I will forever remember Wanda jokingly telling me I was a thorn in her side because I followed her everywhere she went! That poor woman probably couldn't even go to the bathroom without me trailing along behind, but she was full of grace and other than the occasional "thorn in my side" comment she never complained. I loved Wanda, and even though we only keep in contact through facebook now, I know I could still count on her if I needed her and I'd rush to her side if there was ever anything she needed.
With that said, I knew Wanda and James skin color was darker than mine and that was it. I knew they were "african american" or "black" and I knew that the "N-word" was a hurtful no no, but I didn't acutally know what the "n word" was because I'd never heard anyone say it before. I knew they were two people who loved me and two people I loved. That's it.
When I moved to LA, I had a boss who I called a boy because he looked so young. Seriously, I'd never heard that used as a slur, and he asked someone about me because he said he KNEW I wasn't racist but someone should talk to me. I was mortified when it got back to me because I had no idea! I then called a friend and asked him to tell me all the racist things I might not know so I wouldn't step in it again! I seriously could have cried when I was told about that because I really respected this man! All was forgiven and I was starting to learn that history has made some areas sensitive, I just needed to learn what those were.
So, with all that said, I will admit to being white, I will admit I can be a bitch, but I am certainly NOT recist! I did not call that woman black but even if I had, I don't think it would have been racist. I did call her a stupid bitch under my breath but it had absolutely NOTHING to do with her skin color! I will also not be going to Toys R Us for black friday again until they start hiring security to be on site, like EVERY OTHER STORE does!
Disclaimer: If anything I said is truly racist, please just email me, don't bash me in the comment section. I promise I don't judge people based on skin color so if I mess up and say something stupid just tell me and I'll do my best not to be offensive. Maybe I'm too cavalier with wording because I really don't consider race a judging factor (on anything) but that shouldn't be offensive. Seriously, I mean well, I'm just an idiot sometimes.