Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday Wars!

I have been irritated all day over our black friday experience at Toys R Us, it really jaded my whole evening so I'm doing more cathartic blogging! Also, I've said before that I don't pepper my blogs with cursing, but this one comes with a warning, I'm quoting some extremely foul language. If you'll be offended, I apologize, but don't read on.

Last night, while black friday shopping this woman her mother, and husband pushed themselves in line in front of the lady in front of us. It wasn't enough to just be rude, but when the women on either end of the line around these people questioned them they made a big spectacle. Finally, Keith (the calm, cool one in our relationship) calmly says "umm, you know, ya'll cut the line? we've all been in this line together for several minutes" at which point every curse word you've ever heard starts flying from these people's mouths. Ridiculousness! They finally agree to get in line behind us, so they can further harass us and while trying to ignore them they are getting louder and more threatening. At that point Keith says he's going to get security. He steps away and things really heat up, all while (I PROMISE!) I don't say a word! I could see there was no point engaging.

"you white bitch, where's your man goin?" NOTHING on my end because there is clearly no point. "you happy now that we're behind you, bitch?" "who the hell do you f-ing white bitches think you are?" At which point the woman in front of me turns around and yells "I'm not even white you asshole! I'M NOT WHITE!" That's when the guy behind me yells at me "where's your car bitch? where's your f'ing car? I'll see your ass in the parking lot." I still say NOTHING because I know, you can't fight with stupid, they'll bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. (well, and the guy was a lot bigger than me! ha!)

Right around then Keith and a store employee show up and he's telling the guy what happened and the group of people behind me start yelling at Keith "you a f'ing rat? what? you had to go get help?" The store employee was completely useless and I may NEVER go to Toys R Us again because of that. This man stood there and heard these people yelling and threatening and did NOTHING other than laugh. On one hand, I get it, it was complete nonsense for adults to act like this. On th other hand, these people threatened to be waiting for me in the parking lot...less funny.

The kicker is, right behind us they actually did have a fight and I'm betting he didn't laugh so much then!

That's when the bomb dropped..."you're racist! those white bitches are racist!" Keith turns around at this point because, seriously, I have a lot of character flaws but rasicm just isn't one of them. Keith geniuinely asks "who's racist?" The woman says "one of them.." and Keith says "why? what did they say or do?" Keith is a stand up guy and he won't tolerate people cutting line or lying about it so he sure as heck isn't going to tolerate racist behavior! The woman then points vaguely and says "they called me black." We let it lay there because she just spent 15 minutes calling me a white bitch and no one said anything to or about her but she has the audacity to claim racism because someone called her black? Can't argue with stupid...

This is where the part that may be considered racist comes in, but I am genuinely asking, when did it become racist to call a black person black? I don't consider being called white a racial slur and I don't consider saying someone is black is a slur either. I just don't get it...

I never even knew that racism existed until I was a teenager. Two of the dearest people in my childhood were black and I never was taught that their skin color had anything to do with who any of us were. I was taught to treat people with respect and love but no one ever mentioned anything about race.

James was a paralyzed vetran of the Vietnam war and he lived in the nursing home my mom worked at. I spent hours and hours with James, watching TV (WWE!), reading the paper, talking about school and boys, and being friends. James died in 2003 but I remember how amazing he was and I love the memories I have of time we spent together. When Keith and I got serious James insisted I bring Keith in to meet him, when I did Keith was struck with James' exuberance!

Wanda was also very close with James and I think that's what originally bonded us together. After getting to know Wanda, I fell in love with her too! Wanda was a woman I could talk to and joke with and be straight with and Wanda was always straight with me. I will forever remember Wanda jokingly telling me I was a thorn in her side because I followed her everywhere she went! That poor woman probably couldn't even go to the bathroom without me trailing along behind, but she was full of grace and other than the occasional "thorn in my side" comment she never complained. I loved Wanda, and even though we only keep in contact through facebook now, I know I could still count on her if I needed her and I'd rush to her side if there was ever anything she needed.

With that said, I knew Wanda and James skin color was darker than mine and that was it. I knew they were "african american" or "black" and I knew that the "N-word" was a hurtful no no, but I didn't acutally know what the "n word" was because I'd never heard anyone say it before. I knew they were two people who loved me and two people I loved. That's it.

When I moved to LA, I had a boss who I called a boy because he looked so young. Seriously, I'd never heard that used as a slur, and he asked someone about me because he said he KNEW I wasn't racist but someone should talk to me. I was mortified when it got back to me because I had no idea! I then called a friend and asked him to tell me all the racist things I might not know so I wouldn't step in it again! I seriously could have cried when I was told about that because I really respected this man! All was forgiven and I was starting to learn that history has made some areas sensitive, I just needed to learn what those were.

So, with all that said, I will admit to being white, I will admit I can be a bitch, but I am certainly NOT recist! I did not call that woman black but even if I had, I don't think it would have been racist. I did call her a stupid bitch under my breath but it had absolutely NOTHING to do with her skin color! I will also not be going to Toys R Us for black friday again until they start hiring security to be on site, like EVERY OTHER STORE does!

Disclaimer: If anything I said is truly racist, please just email me, don't bash me in the comment section. I promise I don't judge people based on skin color so if I mess up and say something stupid just tell me and I'll do my best not to be offensive. Maybe I'm too cavalier with wording because I really don't consider race a judging factor (on anything) but that shouldn't be offensive. Seriously, I mean well, I'm just an idiot sometimes.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

They Didn't Tell Me About This...

When I was pregnant people warned me about everything under the sun.  I was warned about sleepless nights, how fast time flies, and every possible thing that could go wrong during delivery.  I believed everything I heard even though I didn't really understand. 

When people told me time would fly, I had no concept of what that meant.  I didn't realize that they meant that I would wake up one morning and have an eight year old where my newborn had JUST been! 

One thing people didn't tell me about was how much every single thing that hurt my child, even a little, would rip my heart out.  It never fails that each time either of my daughters get sick, I worry, fret and get a little blue. 

My aunt said "when they're little they step on your toes, when they grow up they step on your heart."  Great!  That must mean it gets better...

Hadley has been sick for well over a month now and it's really weighing on all of us.  First of all, I will admit-it's sinusitis, nothing truly tragic, seems like the sinus infection that will NOT go away!  She's been on an antibiotic for twenty eight days straight and the stupid thing lives on!  She's on augminten now for another fourteen days and it's kicking her hiney!  She's only taken three doses and every time she cries for at least an hour with a tummy ache.

After our mess with tardiness last year, I hate for her to miss a ton of school.  I really don't want the hassle and irritation again but I can't seem to keep her healthy enough for school!  She missed almost two weeks of school with the pneumonia fiasco and there have been a couple of miscellaneous days because of these never ending sinus infections and now with the meds, she's sick and exhausted! 

I'm seriously considering homeschooling this year just to get her healthy!  UGH!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

All is Right in the World of Dolce

I had a little hissy fit over Dolce's groupon and I had refused to go back, it lasted a couple of months and then my roots started getting a little offensive and my resolve weakened.  Not to mention, I genuinely like the people at Dolce and the owner and I have a mutual friend, who is one of my best friends in Carmel so my boycott was somewhat awkward.  That on top of the fact that I love Dolce and I gave in. 

Even through my hissy fit, I kept pretty good tabs on Dolce's facebook page (and if you read the blog, I also still recommended them!) and, I saw this great deal.  25% off of services...only I'd missed the day!  UGH!  Seriously, again!  I couldn't resist posting my frustration, and almost immediately another offer popped up and I jumped on it!  I'm so glad I did too.

I got this great deal on my hair, and I got one of the best haircuts I've ever had!  My stylist, Amber, also helped get back to my natural color and I love it.  A true sign of a good haircut is washing, brushing, going to bed with wet hair then waking up and being able to get it decent within minutes.  SCORE!  I can actually fix my hair and make it look really good or I can the sleep on it thing and make it look decent.  Versatile hair makes me happy!

Today I went back to Dolce, again, and had a shellac manicure.  I LOVE it too!  Yep, I've never had a shellac that I really like but today rocked!  So, all is forgiven (yay!  I'm so glad, I hate grudges!) and now I'm debating on crown lashes...

And just an FYI, if anyone near Carmel is looking for an amazing salon & spa, Dolce is the place to go!  Tell them I sent you!  You'll thank me!